How to maintain a good relationship?
I'm not in a good position to give advices on this but I can share with you guys how I maintain my relationship through the past experiences and break ups.
1. Love.
Yes, love is the key to a good relationship. Though it might sound cliché, this is the one thing that people always neglect unknowingly. Both parties need to love equally in order to keep the passion going and because of love, they will do anything just to make happy the other party. I do not agree with the saying "The one who loves least controls the relationship." Eventually, the relationship will fail without doubt. Trust me, been there, done that.
When the love is dying, so are the feelings, passion and commitment. It's important to show your love and appreciation to your partner consistently during the relationship.
2. Trust
Another key factor for maintaining a good relationship, like I always say "when there's not trust, there's no love" you cannot go any further without this. You got to trust your partner, after all he/she is the one who's going to be with you through thick & thin right?
For example if your partner tells you that he/she is going to meet their friends. Trust them!
Note: Never restrict or confine your partner by tying him/her down. Give them some
freedom. You shouldn't make him/ her feel that life was better before the relationship.
Tips: If you're still insecure or upset, just ask him to update you on his whereabouts and the people he/she is with. In this case, you can assure that they are not lying to you (as you can check it out through their friends twitter or Facebook! Ahh! Smart!)
3. Reassurance
Yes, this! Especially for girls like me... I get so paranoid on lonely days and its best if my boyfriend could reassure me, even if I know he's just trying to make me feel better! It works!
Tips: On days when she feels ugly and dumb. Guys, you can say things like
"I love your smile, it makes me melt..Really! I love you only my dear"
*use words like really, swear, I'm not lying, it's the truth*
"NAH, she's not pretty! You're much prettier. OH PLEASE. I love you only my dear"
*NEVER COMPLIMENT any girl when you girlfriend showed it to you and ask you about your comments, she's obviously upset and doesn't wish to hear any compliments on others!*
"She's not my type, look at her thigh. So fat! I love you only my dear"
*just point out any flaws of others and say you're not interested."
By saying all these, she will definitely feel better and happier!
My advice: Just say what you're supposed to say, not what you want to say.
4. Proud to have him/her in your life
In another words be grateful and appreciate what you have.
Cherish the good moments you've shared together and remember them during the down periods of the relationship.
Never compare your partner with others. Everyone has his/her unique traits, be it good or bad. Accept it for who he/she is.
Note: By comparing, people tend to focus on the good traits of others and the bad habits of your own partner. So just dont compare, be thankful for what you got!
Flirting is a big nono, UNLESS your partner is okay with it and they know you're just be friendly with your friends. That would be fine then!
5. Compromise
Give and take. For example, if he/she has chosen the movie for the day, then you should get to choose what you want to have for dinner. You guys shall not expect everything will go according to your arrangements only. Listen to what they want too!
When it comes to argument, guys might not necessarily always be at the losing end.
And yes, guys can be as stubborn as girls.
6. Efforts
In order for a relationship to last, you have to put in the effort to make it work!
Tips: Get away from the mundane dating plans and try something new to keep your partner excited. Try different activities and dating places to spice up the relationship.
7. Communication
Most people are likely to neglect this important factor. It's good to take a short break (3-4 hours for a normal couple) to cool down after an argument. But you still have to talk things out... Listen before making your point, don't interrupt them and let them say their thoughts and feelings.
Tips: Use a sincere and apologetic tone (even if you're not in a wrong. It's your pride that you're putting down for someone you don't want to lose right?) Try to make her understand where you're coming and constantly tell her what you're feeling at that moment..
Do not ever try bottle things up and think that he/she will understand your stand. So say it out, let him / her know it. Never assume, that is the key thing. Practice effective communication whereby you bring your message across well and the listener get your intent well.
All in all, in my humble opinion, the above qualities that are listed might only be the few in the many qualities that one should possess for maintaining a good relationship. What's more important, it is that you execute what your partner will like you to have but at the same time not losing yourself. Be who you are and accept who he/she is. It is fate that brings you two together, so cherish the relationship be it now or forever. Good luck!
XOXO
